Our friends that I've talked about in previous posts had their baby last night. I am happy for them, but it's hard to be super excited. Especially for them, since it's exactly where we should be. I've been having such a hard time with it. They've had it soooo easy. Ughh. I hate how IF brings this bad attitude. My husband is really the only one who knows how I feel about this (and you guys)...I try to be as friendly as I can be with our friends.
We are friends with this couple more because it's my hubby's friend. I like the wife "jane", shes's a very sweet person... but she's a stay at home mom and when we're together it seems like all we talk about is our kids. Normally, that's fine, but she doesn't have a whole lot going on. I work, I do IVF, I have tons more going on than she does. I just feel like we can't relate right now. and the last thing I want to go over there and do is talk about her kids, especially the new baby. I do miss hanging out with them, and I feel so guilty I have avoided them. I know we would have been hanging out with them more if it wasn't for me and my attitude. I do feel terrible about that. My husband reminded me that life is short and I need to cherish each moment. I know he is right, but easier said than done.
DH is mad at me about my attitude this morning. (I said I didn't want to go over there to visit the baby) It's true I should have a better attitude, I just can't shake it. I hate being fake and that's just how I am going to have to be when we go over there and visit this week. I wish I didn't have to go. But I guess I can't avoid them for forever....I might as well get it over with. Maybe it's just the whole anticipation of the event, and it won't be as bad as I thought. Hoping we don't stay long, just say hello and drop off a meal.
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I know exactly what you mean...I have a SIL and two friends that I'll talk about. One friend we were her baby's Godparents...our God-daughter was born two weeks before what would have been due date of m/c # 1. It was tough to agree to be their Godmother for their 2nd but we were for their first child and I didn't want to make a deal about it as I did not want to worry my friend that I was melting on the inside. Second friend has two babies now...both of them were born within DAYS of m/c # 1 due date and m/c # 2 due date. So EVERY time I see them I am reminded of my EXACT family of what should have been. We're not close now as I can't handle seeing them. Sucks big time. And then my SIL...we're not too close but she is a stay at home mom too. I tend to be more career driven. Also, both parents worked while I was growing up so I plan to work too IF we EVER have kids. I just about sucker punched SIL for talking at nauseum in her half drunk state at a recent family get together (she's a real "Martha" mom and is "perfect" so it was surprising to see her have a glass of wine or two too many)...but she went on and on and on how perfect her life is and how much she loves being a mother...blah blah blah. I felt like such a loser for feeling so selfish and having a bad 'tude but whatever. So don't feel like you're the only one with a bad attitude...I do regularly!!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I know just how you feel. Men oftentimes aren't as emotional as women, so maybe your DH just doesn't understand how hurt you feel. It's another of those "happy for the new parents, but sad for yourself" scenarios. I know that all too well. I hope the short visit doesn't sting too much--good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response. It's nice to have someone who understands. Even my husband doesn't seem to understand. I know he's right about my attitude, and I will try to be happier for others.
ReplyDeleteI feel very selfish saying this, but they haven't said one thing to us since we had our second miscarriage. We are going to bring them a meal and support them as they welcome their child but what about friends supporting us when we need it...even though it's sad, why don't we get any support? Ughh. That frustrates me... we've been thru tough times, and no one sends a card or a nice email note. and when we asked "jane" to watch our son for our egg retrieval one time, she said "no" because she was watching another child that day. We were really in a bind and it would be nice if our friends would go out of their way to help. Ughh. I am just in a bad mood today. I think AF is coming.
Sorry I am so annoying!!