Monday, September 27, 2010

Getting Started!!

I had an u/s and bloodwork today. My lining is very thin, estrogen and progesterone are low. So I started the patches today! I guess that was probably my period afterall. They wanted me to start patches on day 1 of full flow bleeding... but I never had a full flow. So now there's even more of a risk of me ovulating too soon since I'm starting the patches on day 4. But since I tend to ovulate late I should be OK. But there is that risk. If I ovulate and get cancelled I will convert back to the lupron protocol but then transfer would be mid November!

For now transfer is Oct 14th and hoping for the best...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Cycle day 35

Still no AF, very minimal spotting and EWCM...ughh! I am so sick of this waiting! I've been feeling pretty down about this lack of ovulation and waiting. It sucks. Seems like everyone that had ERs after me are passing me up with their transfers. Just feels like it's never going to happen. It's really driving me nuts. The couple times I thought I had seen my LH surge or when I thought AF had showed... my mood changed completely. I just want to know what's going on and hate being in a standstill with no moving forward what so ever! This is definitely testing my patience.

The nurse I talked to on Thursday advised that I go in on Monday for and ultrasound to see what's going on in there. I hope to get an appt for Monday morning.

A girl on the CCRM girls thread on the Fertility Forums got her BFP today and I was so excited since she has the same grade embryos as we plan to transfer. She also did CCS and transferred a 5BA and a 4BB....her beta is looking very strong. Gives me so much hope since some of the ladies on the other threads all have perfect 5AAs and it hasn't been making me feel very good about our embies lately. I know there are many pregnancies with less than perfect embryos since I've obsessed over the CCS chart on IVFC and any other CCS results I can find on Fertility Forums. Gives me hope that at least one of ours will stick!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cycle day 34

I thought for sure AF was coming... but no AF. It's very light spotting now sometiems bright red sometimes more brown/red. I've been crampy at times... so it feels like it's coming but my poor body is so confused. Even seen some EWCM... so who knows what's going on.

I talked with the nurse yesterday and she said keep watching for an LH surge (nothing yet) and keep waiting for a full flow. If I get a full flow- start the patches. If I get an LH surge, well it looks like I'll ovulate... update the nurse and get a progesterone check 7 days later. If no LH surge or full flow by Monday then get an u/s to look at the lining and bloodwork. If the lining is thin..I could start the patches. If not, then maybe induce AF depending on how the bloodwork looks. Ughh. I've been tempted to go in and get an u/s this weekend. But maybe I'll just wait until Monday..

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Cycle day 33

Found out yesterday that my LH and progesterone tests from Monday show I did not surge or ovulate. Progesterone was low at 0.2 and LH was 13. Unless we caught the beginning of my surge, but I don't think so since I am spotting now... it looks like AF is coming.

My nurse says I can just start the patches once AF comes. That puts me back at my original FET date around Oct 11! I guess there is more of a risk that I can ovulate on this protocol since we're skipping the lupron completely. Ughh! Something I will have to worrry about. I asked her how risky is this- she said 5% chance I'd ovulate. But I think I'll still worry.

Still waiting for AF, there's lots of brown spotting and some red spotting too..I feel that AF feeling, so I think it's on it's way. If I get a full flow before 5pm I will start the patches today.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Cycle day 30!

Today is cycle day 30 and I think I'm surging for ovulation! I've been testing every single day hoping to see a +opk since about day 14. This is getting old... and discouraging. I thought maybe I had a positive last week on Thursday... but the line was slightly lighter than the control. These last few days it's been almost there but not quite. Today is the first day it's exactly the same as the control line maybe even a little darker. Maybe I'm FINALLY ovulating!???

I had my blood drawn today for LH and progesterone, I didn't do it STAT so I won't have to pay for it and the results aren't needed today. Tomorrow, I'll get the bloodwork results- hopefully we'll have an idea of what my body is doing. I really hope it shows I am surging. If so, I would go next Monday and get my progesterone checked which should be >5 if I ovulated. Then a week later get AF, once AF starts I can start the patches. Looks like transfer is probably around Oct 27-29. Hopefully!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Regroup Update

I had my regroup today with Dr Schoolcraft. He does make me nervous at first...he's so quiet and dry. I do like him more in person cause you can see his body language. I liked him a lot in person, actually. He does warm up to you after a few minutes of talking.

I asked him how many should we transfer- he said most do two since it's just so much effort at this point but he said we could transfer one if we want. I asked if he'd recommend three (I wouldn't but just curious).. but he said no, only in older ladies he sometimes recommends 3 CCS normals.

Next, I asked which ones he'd recommend for transfer (although I think I know the answer). He says the embryologist decides this. We talked about the quality and he said he sees lots of pregnancies with the quality we have, of course a perfect AA embryos would be better but it doesn't mean it won't work with the ones we have. He sounded positive :)

Lastly, I asked about immune issues specifically NKs. He doesn't believe in this and said there's a large study that just came out that proves they are irrelevant. He said do not worry about the NKs and do not treat them. It's "hocus pocus". He says the Beer Clinic should be out of business and they're stealing our money. Ughh! We've wasted a lot of money on these immune treatments I guess. Although, I have to say- some of it is relevant such as APAs and any clotting issues which Dr Sch agreed.

I asked about our loss last summer of a 46xy. He thinks we lost it because it was slow frozen. He says slow frozen embryos have a higher chance of miscarriage. How sad...we lost a little boy snowbaby due to the way it was frozen. But that was the only technology available at the time (2006). Technology sure has improved in the last four years since we started this proccess! It's amazing!!!

Overall, he sounded positive for our chances for success with our little snowbabies :)

Looks like I'm going to surge soon, finally!! My test this morning was almost +. Hopefully I'll get a + tonight or tomorrow morning.... and we'll be on our way!! My guess transfer would be around Oct 25th since I'm about 2 weeks behind.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Cycle day 24

0.2! That's my progesterone level today. Again, I as not surprised since I have not seen an LH surge. UGhh. Another looooong cycle. Last cycle I surged on day 28, I can only hope I do this time too. I would be soo happy!

Next check is Monday. We will see where I'm at (also checking LH). If it doesn't look like I'll ovulate then they will induce a period. I asked about going into a natural FET, but my lining may not be so good since this is such a long cycle. But it's something we can ask Dr Sch about. I get to talk to him this Thursday, so I can ask more about my options then.

I'm at at least 2 weeks delayed at this point. If I'm lucky enough to ovulate on cycle day 28 then I'd be about 2 weeks delayed. Maybe my DH will get to come along afterall and that would be nice :)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Not so good...

My progesterone check was not so good. Level is 0.3. So no sign of ovulation. I pretty much knew that. I can only hope I'll ovulate on cycle day 28 like last month. I just hope I ovulate at all so I can move on. I'm sure my FET date is now at least a week later...and my guess it's probably two weeks later than originally scheduled at best.
Ughh. I know you can all relate. I just wish I could be on BCP, then this issue would have been solved. I did ask the nurse again if I would be able to be fit into the schedule, she said yes...they will find a spot for me no matter when it comes. They want me to go in on Tuesday to check again. These STAT progesterone checks are OOP and add up. What a waste of money. Maybe I'll ask on Monday if I could do a non-STAT check. Then it would be free thru my insurance. I hate throwing money down the drain. I've done enough of that this year!!

Cycle day 21

This morning I went in for my progesterone check. If it's >5 I can proceed with lupron.
I'm pretty confident it will not be >5. I don't think I've ovulated. At least that's what those stupid OPKs tell me. Maybe I missed my surge? I hope so. Last month I didn't get a surge until cycle day 28!!! I won't be surprised if my cycle is a mess this month since I just came out of a fresh cycle. So frustrating! I hear the calendar is booking up, which makes me nervous if my cycle is totally off. The nurse says once you're on the schedule, they'll squeeze you in somehow... I hope so.

I guess I'll hear back this afternoon to get an idea of what's going on...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Cycle day 17...

I've been OPKing these last few days since I am on cycle day 17 today. No sign of a surge yet. I think that means my FET will be at least a few days later than planned. Hopefully I'll get a surge soon and I won't be too off track. It's definitely not as stressful as planning a fresh cycle, so I am not stressed about it...yet!

My regroup appointment is set up for September 16th. I guess we'll discuss our CCS results and our transfer plans. I'm afraid to ask our % chance for success...cause I know Dr Schoolcraft tends to underestimate your chances and I don't want to be bummed out.

My other concern is immune issues. But I already know his answer on that..."it's hocus pocus". I may have the Beer Clinic treat me for immune issues just for peace of mind and a precaution, and I've already done the whole work up with them. We lost a normal embryo last summer and I just don't know why...all I know is that my natural killer cells elevated and I had no treatment for it. I do realize that not all normals take- But I don't want any regrets. This is it for us...

Thursday, September 2, 2010

CCS results are in!!!!

Well, I did get a nice birthday surprise! Three of our five are normal!! Our abnormals are the two from day 6...the 3AB and the 4AB. My nurse thought these were our best ones. Bummer!! The normals are all of the days fives.... 5BA, 4BB, and 3BB. Nice to know that if we had not done CCS we probably would have transferred the two abnormals and got a big fat negative! Or a heartbreaking miscarriage. So thankful that CCS saved us from that happening.

I am hopeful and happy with our results. Of course I wanted more and the normal ones to be our best embryos. My guess is we'll transfer two since none of ours are perfect AAs. It's nice to have at least one extra in case there are issues with thawing and re-expanding... comforting to have a back up embie!

The next step is to talk with Dr Schoolcraft about our results. I will set up an appointment today. My progesterone check is on 9/11 to see if I'm ready for lupron (progesterone has to be >5). Then wait for AF and start the patches once AF shows up... I have a feeling this will all be later than the estimated dates though!

My Birthday Wish....

Today is my Birthday, and I'm sure you all know what I am wishing for! It would be great to get my CCS results today and get an amazing report. But I guess as long as I have a healthy baby in my arms at this time next year my wish will have come true.

It's a bummer that I am not really up for doing much this year for my birthday. I am just not in the mood. I told my husband not to plan anything, do not want to have a party of any sort. We will probably go out to dinner tonight since my in-laws are coming today to visit for four days from out of town. It's a bummer that IF robs you of good times, it steals good memories that I should have of today and even this past year. I look back on this year and it is not all that good. Two miscarriages another failed IVF cycle...so much heartache and pain. Been avoiding friends and parties, not my usual self. Taken less pictures of myself and family. I feel like it's been a year wasted of my life and even my son has suffered, which is so sad.

I hope and pray that this year my wish comes true and we can move on with our lives with our family complete. All the money, materials things do not matter.... I would be so happy and so content, couldn't want more in life than that.