We've been doing soo much prep for this IVF cycle to Colorado! I hope this fortune is true and it all pays off!!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My fortune cookie!
Whenever I open a fortune cookie, I hope it says something good that I feel like could relate to our upcoming IVF cycle. I usually get the lamest fortunes. I remember during one of our IVF cycles- like the day before our transfer it said something like "don't put all of your eggs in one basket". I wasn't sure of what to think about that one! But it didn't turn out to be a good cycle... it must have meant, "don't count on this cycle working!!!". I know, they are only stupid fortune cookies! But I was happy about my fortune I got last night-
We've been doing soo much prep for this IVF cycle to Colorado! I hope this fortune is true and it all pays off!!
We've been doing soo much prep for this IVF cycle to Colorado! I hope this fortune is true and it all pays off!!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
No BCP!! :(
So I finally got the word that I cannot be on BCP (even in conjuction with lovenox) due to my Factor II mutation. I don't know much about the factor II mutation, I found out about it in February when I did an extensive work up at the Beer Center for Reproductive Immunology (after my second miscarriage). Dr Google says that "women who have the prothrombin mutation increase the risk of developing a DVT by about 16 times by using estrogen-containing oral contraceptives". There's a risk as well with pregnancy but not nearly as high as that! I will still be on lovenox for my entire pregnancy! I hate that stuff- it stings and it gives ugly bruises :( But of course, worth it for both my health and baby.
I asked the nurse more about planning w/o BCP and after many questions the conclusion is there's no way around it and we are at the mercy of my body!! Usually, my cycles have been fairly regular but it seems lately they are not. I am such a planner and do not like the uncertainty of my calendar. I'd like to give my work advanced notice....don't want to leave them scrambling to figure out who's going to cover my shifts. I feel really bad. I was stressing over this last night and didn't sleep too well (I think a combo of the fact that I have a cold and was coughing, runny nose). Ughh.
Trying not to stress, than I may not ovulate and then it will be worse. Plus, there is nothing I can do about it. Just hope my body cooperates and make the best of it. This is our last IVF cycle so if I end up taking more time off work than I would like and leave them scrambling, oh well, this is our last time doing this.(well besides an FET, hopefully!)
Okay, there's one more thing I am trying not to stress over- this back up sperm sample situation. I think what we're going to do is DH will come out to give his sample and then go home and come back close to egg retrieval. I asked the nurses about the possibility of giving the sample locally and shipping it to CCRM but she said most patients find that this is not worth the hassle. Well, I'd like to know what's involved in this because coming back and forth is sort of a hassle too!! Or staying for 7+ days for DH is difficult for him since he'd miss more work!! What are you all doing about the back up sample?
I asked the nurse more about planning w/o BCP and after many questions the conclusion is there's no way around it and we are at the mercy of my body!! Usually, my cycles have been fairly regular but it seems lately they are not. I am such a planner and do not like the uncertainty of my calendar. I'd like to give my work advanced notice....don't want to leave them scrambling to figure out who's going to cover my shifts. I feel really bad. I was stressing over this last night and didn't sleep too well (I think a combo of the fact that I have a cold and was coughing, runny nose). Ughh.
Trying not to stress, than I may not ovulate and then it will be worse. Plus, there is nothing I can do about it. Just hope my body cooperates and make the best of it. This is our last IVF cycle so if I end up taking more time off work than I would like and leave them scrambling, oh well, this is our last time doing this.(well besides an FET, hopefully!)
Okay, there's one more thing I am trying not to stress over- this back up sperm sample situation. I think what we're going to do is DH will come out to give his sample and then go home and come back close to egg retrieval. I asked the nurses about the possibility of giving the sample locally and shipping it to CCRM but she said most patients find that this is not worth the hassle. Well, I'd like to know what's involved in this because coming back and forth is sort of a hassle too!! Or staying for 7+ days for DH is difficult for him since he'd miss more work!! What are you all doing about the back up sample?
Monday, June 28, 2010
New Calendar!
I got my revised calendar yesterday! Of course is dependent on when AF shows up! I'm going to to OPKs to see when to expect it! My period is due around 7/18.
Aug 7: cycle day 21- progesterone check if >5 start lupron
Aug 18: u/s and bloodwork
Aug 19: start stims/lovenox
Aug 23: Travel to Denver
Aug 30: Estimated Egg retrieval
My concern about the no BCP is that the progesterone check on cycle day 21 is based on a 28 day cycle. My nurse said that since my cycles tend to be longer that it may be a few more days before my progesterone is ready. Ughh. My last cycle was 37 days- so if it's long again it's going to be even more days! This makes it difficult for travel plans, time off work plans, etc. I've always been on BCP- was on them for 5 years when first married, have been on them for every IVF cycle I have done. No issues. I am glad though that CCRM is concerned for my health/safety ....but this does not make it easy for planning. I'm really hoping that I could be on BCP along with lovenox. I asked my nurse via email- hopefully she gets back to me soon...
Aug 7: cycle day 21- progesterone check if >5 start lupron
Aug 18: u/s and bloodwork
Aug 19: start stims/lovenox
Aug 23: Travel to Denver
Aug 30: Estimated Egg retrieval
My concern about the no BCP is that the progesterone check on cycle day 21 is based on a 28 day cycle. My nurse said that since my cycles tend to be longer that it may be a few more days before my progesterone is ready. Ughh. My last cycle was 37 days- so if it's long again it's going to be even more days! This makes it difficult for travel plans, time off work plans, etc. I've always been on BCP- was on them for 5 years when first married, have been on them for every IVF cycle I have done. No issues. I am glad though that CCRM is concerned for my health/safety ....but this does not make it easy for planning. I'm really hoping that I could be on BCP along with lovenox. I asked my nurse via email- hopefully she gets back to me soon...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A little bummed...
I'm a little bummed out that we're waiting. If we weren't doing CCS it wouldn't be so bad... but I think about transferring in November and it just seems like forever. I am usually so anxious to get started, usually fairly optimistic and not too scared. But this time I am really scared. This is our last shot!! Usually we have always had another try. Our previous RE had a great shared risk program where we'd get 90% back if it failed. A lot of costs were still involved for each cycle- meds, other costs like ICSI...but it was so nice get money back and to have a back up plan. This time- no back up plan at all. Just this is it!! It's kind of nice to enjoy another month off without the pressure!
I finally go the results of our genetic testing- we decided to test for SMA and Fragile X since they recommend it for everyone. Thankfully, both are negative :)
Nothing exciting going on for our weekend. It's my weekend to work :( Hope you all have a great weekend!!
I finally go the results of our genetic testing- we decided to test for SMA and Fragile X since they recommend it for everyone. Thankfully, both are negative :)
Nothing exciting going on for our weekend. It's my weekend to work :( Hope you all have a great weekend!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
August it is!
So my hubby and I talked it over this evening. I've had this nagging feeling that we should wait, part of it is, I know I am so scared to get back into this. Cause this is it!!! My instincts also say wait for some reason. Dr Sch did say he thinks I have an egg quality issue so I am on the egg quality supplements he recommended which I started at the beginning of June... so it would give me more time on those too...that would be 3 months total. So I think we'd go out there around Aug 22 or so. Looks like the wait between egg retrieval, waiting for CCS and prepping for an FET is about 2.5 months so our transfer would be mid November. Mid November is a special time for us. My DH and I got married on November 25, our son was transferred to us as a day 3 embryo on November 30, and it's Thanksgiving time which reminds us we have a lot to be thankful for. So maybe our transfer is meant to be around this time of year...
Calendar!
I received my calendar and protocol today. I will be on the standard long lupron as I expected. I wanted to get started with this cycle, but now I look at the calendar it seems soo soon! Ahhh! Not sure if we can plan it all in time. Work is busy for me during the dates I'd have to leave since one coworker is in vacation and the other is having surgery. Since I won't be on BCP (due to clotting issues) the dates aren't as certain. Right now the calendar says I travel to Denver on July 21. We may have to wait a cycle, I really need to talk with my DH tonight. I hope to get a hold of my nurse too, since I have tons of questions now about details. Even if we wait a month... it's almost here!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Regroup update
I was excited when the nurse set up my appointment so soon after getting the day 3 bloodwork. The bloodwork just arrived today and my consult was later in the day. I was a little concerned though that the bloodwork would not be ready or that the doctor would not have a chance to have looked at my result and decided on my protocol, I did question the nurse and she said it should be fine.
Well, it didn't turn out too great... my appt was orginally at 4pm but this am they called to see if I could change it to earlier. I explained the situation with the bloodwork arriving today, etc. They said the result would be ready. So I said ok. The appt was changed to 1230. Then I realized my home phone wasn't working at 1215, so I called them to change the contact number to my cell #. Still no call at 1pm. I was afraid maybe he didn't get the message and was calling my home phone. So I called back to double check. Ughh. I guess he was just running late. So he calls at around 1:15 and I asked if he had my bloowork results (since this was the main reason I wanted to talk- about my result and protocol). He didn't have it! Ughh! So he says he call me back. He got the result and called back within 5 min. But he didn't have my protocol ready....I was appreciative of the fact that he felt he needed to take some time to decide my protocol. So I was happy with that.
I was slightly annoyed (not his fault) but that the nurses set this up for me. The whole point was to discuss my results and the protocol/plan. We ended up talking anyway and he was nice about it. I got flustered and didn't ask as may questions as I wanted to though. My FSH was 7.0, he didn't have my LH result and the E2 was 49.I mentioned how the other RE's have thought I have an egg quality issue- fragmented polar bodies with the eggs, low fert rates. He agreed I probably have an egg quality issue but it could be resolved with their lab and how the eggs are matured (timing of HCG shot) also fert rates could improve with their ICSI expertise in their lab.
I asked about the supplements-inositol, Co-Q10, melatonin...and said I have been taking them- he said it can't hurt.
I also asked about being aggressive- how our last long lupron cycle was not too great- 17 eggs (good!!), 12 mature (pretty good) but only 5!! fertilized! I was devastated. That's why my local RE was more aggressive this cycle with the MDL protocol where I got 27 eggs, 20 mature, 12 fertilized. But Dr Schoolcraft still thinks the MDL is too aggressive and getting more than 20 eggs is not a good thing. Quality is compromised when >20 eggs are retreived. So I am trying to get used to the idea of more isn't necessarily better. He said he believes we will get 5 to 6 blasts for CCS testing.
He was positive and wished me good luck. I hope to get my protocol in the next few days and get a hold of my nurse to see if I can get started this cycle or not.
Well, it didn't turn out too great... my appt was orginally at 4pm but this am they called to see if I could change it to earlier. I explained the situation with the bloodwork arriving today, etc. They said the result would be ready. So I said ok. The appt was changed to 1230. Then I realized my home phone wasn't working at 1215, so I called them to change the contact number to my cell #. Still no call at 1pm. I was afraid maybe he didn't get the message and was calling my home phone. So I called back to double check. Ughh. I guess he was just running late. So he calls at around 1:15 and I asked if he had my bloowork results (since this was the main reason I wanted to talk- about my result and protocol). He didn't have it! Ughh! So he says he call me back. He got the result and called back within 5 min. But he didn't have my protocol ready....I was appreciative of the fact that he felt he needed to take some time to decide my protocol. So I was happy with that.
I was slightly annoyed (not his fault) but that the nurses set this up for me. The whole point was to discuss my results and the protocol/plan. We ended up talking anyway and he was nice about it. I got flustered and didn't ask as may questions as I wanted to though. My FSH was 7.0, he didn't have my LH result and the E2 was 49.I mentioned how the other RE's have thought I have an egg quality issue- fragmented polar bodies with the eggs, low fert rates. He agreed I probably have an egg quality issue but it could be resolved with their lab and how the eggs are matured (timing of HCG shot) also fert rates could improve with their ICSI expertise in their lab.
I asked about the supplements-inositol, Co-Q10, melatonin...and said I have been taking them- he said it can't hurt.
I also asked about being aggressive- how our last long lupron cycle was not too great- 17 eggs (good!!), 12 mature (pretty good) but only 5!! fertilized! I was devastated. That's why my local RE was more aggressive this cycle with the MDL protocol where I got 27 eggs, 20 mature, 12 fertilized. But Dr Schoolcraft still thinks the MDL is too aggressive and getting more than 20 eggs is not a good thing. Quality is compromised when >20 eggs are retreived. So I am trying to get used to the idea of more isn't necessarily better. He said he believes we will get 5 to 6 blasts for CCS testing.
He was positive and wished me good luck. I hope to get my protocol in the next few days and get a hold of my nurse to see if I can get started this cycle or not.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Multiples
What do you all think of multiples? My friend (who I threw the baby shower for) had her twins early this week. She was just 32 weeks. The babies were about 3.5lbs and will be in the NICU for a while. The babies will be ok but it is scary. Seeing her situation definitely makes me rethink transferring 2 CCS normals (if we get there!!) Her pregnancy has been going perfectly and then all of the sudden she woke up bleeding/contractions and had pre-eclampsia. They tried to hold them in longer but her pre-e was increasing so they did a c-section the next day.
I am a pediatric nurse and I've seen the results of premature birth. It can be very sad. Of course, at the hospital, I only saw the sick ones with the worst stories...so my view is skewed. But being born premature can have life long complications. Most do ok and of course it depends on how premature they are. The thought of triplets scares me to death and at least CCS would most likely prevent the chance of that happening since we'd just transfer 2. We've transferred 3 embryos with most of my transfers and I've always been a little nervous about the chance for triplets (even though our RE said the chance was about 5%).
The idea of twins sounds so fun. And I'd love to have 2 more kids. Everyone thinks twins is so exciting and it would be fun to have something extra special. It does make me sad that my son is almost 3 and will be almost 4 (if I get pregnant!) and they are farther apart then I wanted. At least if we have twins, those 2 would be close in age and they could have a big brother to protect them.
But on the other hand- twins sounds soooo exhausting. The pregnancy doesn't sound as easy, the risks sound scary. Bedrest could be a big possibility and that would be a challenge especially with a 3 year old. Breastfeeding would be much harder with twins. Getting out of the house would be nearly impossible w/twins and my son. We'd need a bigger car for sure to fit all of the carseats. Would I be able to keep my job-handle twins and a preschooler? It would definitely be difficult.
But of course, as I know you all can relate, I will take either scenario. I will be happy with at least one baby and we will figure it out if we have twins. I would love to have three kids and one at at time would probably most ideal. But I'd love to be done with this process and if we have twins we'd definitely be done!
I am a pediatric nurse and I've seen the results of premature birth. It can be very sad. Of course, at the hospital, I only saw the sick ones with the worst stories...so my view is skewed. But being born premature can have life long complications. Most do ok and of course it depends on how premature they are. The thought of triplets scares me to death and at least CCS would most likely prevent the chance of that happening since we'd just transfer 2. We've transferred 3 embryos with most of my transfers and I've always been a little nervous about the chance for triplets (even though our RE said the chance was about 5%).
The idea of twins sounds so fun. And I'd love to have 2 more kids. Everyone thinks twins is so exciting and it would be fun to have something extra special. It does make me sad that my son is almost 3 and will be almost 4 (if I get pregnant!) and they are farther apart then I wanted. At least if we have twins, those 2 would be close in age and they could have a big brother to protect them.
But on the other hand- twins sounds soooo exhausting. The pregnancy doesn't sound as easy, the risks sound scary. Bedrest could be a big possibility and that would be a challenge especially with a 3 year old. Breastfeeding would be much harder with twins. Getting out of the house would be nearly impossible w/twins and my son. We'd need a bigger car for sure to fit all of the carseats. Would I be able to keep my job-handle twins and a preschooler? It would definitely be difficult.
But of course, as I know you all can relate, I will take either scenario. I will be happy with at least one baby and we will figure it out if we have twins. I would love to have three kids and one at at time would probably most ideal. But I'd love to be done with this process and if we have twins we'd definitely be done!
Friday, June 18, 2010
The new baby
We went to visit our friend's baby tonight. It wasn't too bad and I am glad I went. I cried in the car on the way home though. It's just frustrating that we have to spend all this money and go thru all of this to have a baby when it was given to them so easily. Life seems so simple for them. It's just not fair.
Cycle Day 2
I had my day 2/3 bloodwork drawn today! I went to a clinic that ships very often to CCRM and was very familiar with the process, so that was comforting. It will be very disappointing if something isn't done correctly and I have to do it again in another month! The blood will be shipped out on Monday and arrive at CCRM on Tuesday. I was surprised to hear back from one of the nurses. (I guess my nurse is not in today)... she set me up for a consult with Dr Sch already!! For next TUESDAY! I was so suprised that it was so soon. I emailed her back right away b/c my blood is arriving Tuesday...not sure if the results would be in. But she said the results should be ready (my appt is late in the day). I better get all my questions ready!! I would like to start this process with this cycle and she said I could if I am not on BCP and would have to start an antibiotic next week. It sounds like they weren't going to put me on BCP due to clotting issues- so it may be a go! But we'll see how the consult goes and what protocol I'm on. If it's the LONG lupron then I think I'd like to start with this cycle...since egg retrieval wouldn't be early Aug. If it's a shorter protocol- it may be too soon for planning. We'll see. I will be nervous to talk with Sch- I have so many questions!! I am excited though! We're finally moving along again!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Cycle Day 1!!!
Yay! AF finally came today! Finally! I will get my cycle day 2/3 bloodwork done either tomorrow or Sat. I may go tomorrow since I think weekdays are easier at the clinic. They will freeze it and ship it out for me, so it should be pretty easy. I just pray that they do not mess it up! But the main guy at the lab said they frequently ship day 3 bloodwork to CCRM and he knew exactly what was in the kit and sounded very confident about it, so I feel like it will be in good hands.
I emailed my nurse a couple days ago asking about inducing my period. No response. I also called today and left a message letting her know I had other questions, but no response today :( I emailed this evening and I will also call again tomorrow. Hopefully I hear back this time! Ughh!
I emailed my nurse a couple days ago asking about inducing my period. No response. I also called today and left a message letting her know I had other questions, but no response today :( I emailed this evening and I will also call again tomorrow. Hopefully I hear back this time! Ughh!
Still waiting...
Still no AF. I am tempted to induce a period. I emailed my nurse, but you all know how that is! I think I am going to call today, the email strategy has not been successful thus far. I feel crampy and feels like AF is coming any minute- but it's been like that for over a week!! I don't know what's up with my cycle, it's usually on time. I have extra PIO. I've read you can take 100-200mg progesterone IM for one dose- should get period about 5 days later? Not sure if this is a good idea since I will be doing day 3 bw...but I know other who have done it before day 3 bw. I will double check with my nurse first. Hopefully I get a response from the nurse today.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
AF where are you??
I am on cycle day 35. Where is AF?? I am NOT pregnant, already checked! I am so crampy, but it just isn't showing up. I want to keep moving, not waiting. Ughh! We have plans to go out of town for the upcoming weekend (3 day weekend), so I am hoping that I don't need the day 3 bloodwork on one of those days. I could probably find a place to draw it where I will be, but I much rather do it at my local clinic that ships to CCRM all of the time, they know whole routine so I won't have to worry about it being done incorrectly. Please show up ASAP AF!!!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bad Attitude
Our friends that I've talked about in previous posts had their baby last night. I am happy for them, but it's hard to be super excited. Especially for them, since it's exactly where we should be. I've been having such a hard time with it. They've had it soooo easy. Ughh. I hate how IF brings this bad attitude. My husband is really the only one who knows how I feel about this (and you guys)...I try to be as friendly as I can be with our friends.
We are friends with this couple more because it's my hubby's friend. I like the wife "jane", shes's a very sweet person... but she's a stay at home mom and when we're together it seems like all we talk about is our kids. Normally, that's fine, but she doesn't have a whole lot going on. I work, I do IVF, I have tons more going on than she does. I just feel like we can't relate right now. and the last thing I want to go over there and do is talk about her kids, especially the new baby. I do miss hanging out with them, and I feel so guilty I have avoided them. I know we would have been hanging out with them more if it wasn't for me and my attitude. I do feel terrible about that. My husband reminded me that life is short and I need to cherish each moment. I know he is right, but easier said than done.
DH is mad at me about my attitude this morning. (I said I didn't want to go over there to visit the baby) It's true I should have a better attitude, I just can't shake it. I hate being fake and that's just how I am going to have to be when we go over there and visit this week. I wish I didn't have to go. But I guess I can't avoid them for forever....I might as well get it over with. Maybe it's just the whole anticipation of the event, and it won't be as bad as I thought. Hoping we don't stay long, just say hello and drop off a meal.
We are friends with this couple more because it's my hubby's friend. I like the wife "jane", shes's a very sweet person... but she's a stay at home mom and when we're together it seems like all we talk about is our kids. Normally, that's fine, but she doesn't have a whole lot going on. I work, I do IVF, I have tons more going on than she does. I just feel like we can't relate right now. and the last thing I want to go over there and do is talk about her kids, especially the new baby. I do miss hanging out with them, and I feel so guilty I have avoided them. I know we would have been hanging out with them more if it wasn't for me and my attitude. I do feel terrible about that. My husband reminded me that life is short and I need to cherish each moment. I know he is right, but easier said than done.
DH is mad at me about my attitude this morning. (I said I didn't want to go over there to visit the baby) It's true I should have a better attitude, I just can't shake it. I hate being fake and that's just how I am going to have to be when we go over there and visit this week. I wish I didn't have to go. But I guess I can't avoid them for forever....I might as well get it over with. Maybe it's just the whole anticipation of the event, and it won't be as bad as I thought. Hoping we don't stay long, just say hello and drop off a meal.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Why even ask?
I find it so annoying when friends ask me how I am doing via email and don't respond back. These aren't super close friends, but I've had a handful of friends checking in to see how things are going... I respond back letting them know we've had two miscarriages and that we will be going to CO for IVF. I haven't gotten a response from at least three of them. Why even ask????
Ughh. They could at least write back saying something like "I am so sorry for your loss... You're in our thoughts and prayers". If I had good news I think they all would have wrote back. I hate how IF brings these awkward situations. One girl that didn't respond back I met online thru a thread for my local clinic. I had cycled there before and had success and was back on the threads since we were TTC #2. This girl was TTC for her first. Her first cycle failed. I supported her and we exchanged emails. We would talk a lot and were planning on meeting in person. Her second cycle was a BFP. I got pregnant shortly after and lost the pregnancy. She was supportive. We didn't talk for a while and I went on and did a new fresh cycle. She checked in on me later on and I told her about my BFN and she's never responded back. I know we weren't best friend's or anything- but why ask??? It hurts.
Another friend of mine, actually a pretty good friend. She lives 10 hrs away, we're friends from high school. She was a bridesmaid in our wedding. We keep in touch mostly by email. We hadn't talked in a while and she wrote me to see how things are going with IVF,etc. I responded back with the miscarriage news,etc. No response!!!
It really hurts. don't go on facebook anymore, it's just too hurtful. I know these people care about me and maybe they just don't know what to say but the silence is worse.
Ughh. They could at least write back saying something like "I am so sorry for your loss... You're in our thoughts and prayers". If I had good news I think they all would have wrote back. I hate how IF brings these awkward situations. One girl that didn't respond back I met online thru a thread for my local clinic. I had cycled there before and had success and was back on the threads since we were TTC #2. This girl was TTC for her first. Her first cycle failed. I supported her and we exchanged emails. We would talk a lot and were planning on meeting in person. Her second cycle was a BFP. I got pregnant shortly after and lost the pregnancy. She was supportive. We didn't talk for a while and I went on and did a new fresh cycle. She checked in on me later on and I told her about my BFN and she's never responded back. I know we weren't best friend's or anything- but why ask??? It hurts.
Another friend of mine, actually a pretty good friend. She lives 10 hrs away, we're friends from high school. She was a bridesmaid in our wedding. We keep in touch mostly by email. We hadn't talked in a while and she wrote me to see how things are going with IVF,etc. I responded back with the miscarriage news,etc. No response!!!
It really hurts. don't go on facebook anymore, it's just too hurtful. I know these people care about me and maybe they just don't know what to say but the silence is worse.
Friday, June 11, 2010
CCS
I think CCS has sooo many advantages. I am so thankful for this new technology. But I am so nervous that we won't have any blasts or very few. Or they won't be that great of quality. Sounds like you have to decide by day 2 report if you want to go forward with the testing. We may have an idea- but won't know the quality and number of blasts....there's a lot of money on the line. We already wasted $3000 + on PGD that failed! I find myself thinking about this so often. Why not do a fresh transfer and stop worrying about this? and not putting an expectation to make so many blasts? Here's my list so far for the advantages/disadvatages of CCS testing:
Advantages to CGH:
1)Transfer "normal" embryos with the best chance for implantation- success rates high!
2)Avoid a BFN of abnormals (and IF have frozens have to pay for an FET)
3)Avoid miscarriage of abnormal (I've been thru 2 miscarriages and d&c's already)
4)FET transfer easier on immune system
5)Comfort of being pregnant with "normals" less worry about miscarriage
6)If we have the bonus of extra frozen "normals" we will know the status of these embryos and know if it is worthwhile to go back for them and take advantage of all listed above for a sibling
7)If we have no "normals" it will make sense to move on and be done with IVF
Disadvantages:
1)COST!! ($6,850!!!!)
2)the wait (but may not actually be disadvantage-sounds like FETs may be better anyway)
3)chance of error or damage to the embryo (although may be very small there must be a very small chance this could happen)
4)Won't have extra money to possibly try again (maybe a change in protocol would yield more eggs or better quality) or use toward adoption or donor,etc. I know my husband won't let us spend more!!
Let me know if any of you can think of any other advantages/disadvantages. What are your opinions on CCS?
Advantages to CGH:
1)Transfer "normal" embryos with the best chance for implantation- success rates high!
2)Avoid a BFN of abnormals (and IF have frozens have to pay for an FET)
3)Avoid miscarriage of abnormal (I've been thru 2 miscarriages and d&c's already)
4)FET transfer easier on immune system
5)Comfort of being pregnant with "normals" less worry about miscarriage
6)If we have the bonus of extra frozen "normals" we will know the status of these embryos and know if it is worthwhile to go back for them and take advantage of all listed above for a sibling
7)If we have no "normals" it will make sense to move on and be done with IVF
Disadvantages:
1)COST!! ($6,850!!!!)
2)the wait (but may not actually be disadvantage-sounds like FETs may be better anyway)
3)chance of error or damage to the embryo (although may be very small there must be a very small chance this could happen)
4)Won't have extra money to possibly try again (maybe a change in protocol would yield more eggs or better quality) or use toward adoption or donor,etc. I know my husband won't let us spend more!!
Let me know if any of you can think of any other advantages/disadvantages. What are your opinions on CCS?
Monday, June 7, 2010
Keeping busy and gettin in shape
I am trying to keep busy while I wait, wait, wait!! My goal is to get in shape these next couple months. Finally, went back to the gym (it had been three months- stopped just before stims on my last IVF cycle). I love the pilates instructor at my gym, she is works you hard! It feels so good to get a good work out! It's been difficult this last year with 2 miscarriages and 2 d&c's and another IVF...I haven't gotten any consistency with exercise, ughh!
Also keeping the weekends busy, just about every weekend is booked to have something to look forward to and help the time go by. I work every other weekend- so half the weekends are already taken up. On my next weekend off I planned a trip to San Diego to visit the in-laws and see their new home they just finished building. In early July for the holiday we will go to Orange County to visit my family for about 4 days. Mid July we'll probably head out to our friend's Lake House for the weekend. Then it's almost time for CO!
Also keeping the weekends busy, just about every weekend is booked to have something to look forward to and help the time go by. I work every other weekend- so half the weekends are already taken up. On my next weekend off I planned a trip to San Diego to visit the in-laws and see their new home they just finished building. In early July for the holiday we will go to Orange County to visit my family for about 4 days. Mid July we'll probably head out to our friend's Lake House for the weekend. Then it's almost time for CO!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wait, wait, wait
Ughh. The waiting is starting to get to me. Still 2 months to go until we go to Colorado.
I emailed the nurse over a week ago to be sure she got my fax and that the items I faxed over are correct... but no response what so ever. I am a little disapointed so far in the response time of the nurse. None of my issues have been urgent so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I hope while I am in cycle that I get quicker responses. At the ODWU my nurse said she prefers the phone over email....but for me I prefer email over phone. It seems so much easier to talk by email. I guess I will call her on Monday. I hope my AF comes next weekend (oh- unless I am miraculously pregnant!) I am ready to get that day 3 bloodwork sent and regroup with Dr Sch. And it will be very nice to have a calendar and start planning for our trip to CO. For now, wait, wait, wait....
I emailed the nurse over a week ago to be sure she got my fax and that the items I faxed over are correct... but no response what so ever. I am a little disapointed so far in the response time of the nurse. None of my issues have been urgent so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I hope while I am in cycle that I get quicker responses. At the ODWU my nurse said she prefers the phone over email....but for me I prefer email over phone. It seems so much easier to talk by email. I guess I will call her on Monday. I hope my AF comes next weekend (oh- unless I am miraculously pregnant!) I am ready to get that day 3 bloodwork sent and regroup with Dr Sch. And it will be very nice to have a calendar and start planning for our trip to CO. For now, wait, wait, wait....
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I feel like a jerk
Ughh. Tonight my husband was asking me if I want to hang out with some good friends of ours this weekend (I will call them Jane and Doug). I have been avoiding these friends for a while now- she's pregnant with their second child. For me, I find it most difficult to hang out with pregnant friends/people who are where we should be...having our second child.
We became pregnant last summer (from our frozen embies) and Jane and Doug had just begun trying to conceive. Jane and I would talk a lot about our excitement about having another child and hoped our seconds would be close in age like our firsts are. We ended up miscarrying and not too long after (after about 3 months total of trying) Jane and Doug were pregnant. Oh well...I was hopeful we'd be pregnant again soon. We were just beginning a new fresh cycle and I thought for sure I'd be just right behind them. We did get a BFP from that fresh cycle and saw the heartbeat at 7wks. Jane and I talked about being pregnant together and we were all so excited.... but just a week later we lost the pregnancy.
Of course, for them everything has been perfect with the pregnancy. I have been avoiding them and I feel like a jerk. I just feel terrible. I kept thinking- "oh, I'll be pregnant too soon and then we can all hang out" but since then we've had yet another BFN and it's just so hard. I feel so awful for avoiding people and isolating ourselves. It's not fair to my husband who loves to hang out with his friends or my son who would play with their daughter.
Jane is due to give birth this month. I am just not in the mood to go over there and put on a fake smile. See her big belly and the interaction with her daughter and her belly, etc. I want my son to have a sibling so badly. I don't know what I am going to do when she finally has the baby. Am I wrong to be like this? I feel like a such terrible person.
We became pregnant last summer (from our frozen embies) and Jane and Doug had just begun trying to conceive. Jane and I would talk a lot about our excitement about having another child and hoped our seconds would be close in age like our firsts are. We ended up miscarrying and not too long after (after about 3 months total of trying) Jane and Doug were pregnant. Oh well...I was hopeful we'd be pregnant again soon. We were just beginning a new fresh cycle and I thought for sure I'd be just right behind them. We did get a BFP from that fresh cycle and saw the heartbeat at 7wks. Jane and I talked about being pregnant together and we were all so excited.... but just a week later we lost the pregnancy.
Of course, for them everything has been perfect with the pregnancy. I have been avoiding them and I feel like a jerk. I just feel terrible. I kept thinking- "oh, I'll be pregnant too soon and then we can all hang out" but since then we've had yet another BFN and it's just so hard. I feel so awful for avoiding people and isolating ourselves. It's not fair to my husband who loves to hang out with his friends or my son who would play with their daughter.
Jane is due to give birth this month. I am just not in the mood to go over there and put on a fake smile. See her big belly and the interaction with her daughter and her belly, etc. I want my son to have a sibling so badly. I don't know what I am going to do when she finally has the baby. Am I wrong to be like this? I feel like a such terrible person.
Nothing new...
Nothing new going on for me yet. Lots of thoughts going thru my head almost constantly about my upcoming cycle. What protocol will I be on? How many eggs will we get? Will our fertilization rates improve? Will our embryos grow well? Will we have enough for CGH/MA testing? I keep thinking of different scenarios that could happen...good and bad. It can consume my thoughts. I am trying to keep busy, be healthy and stay positive.
I think I detected my surge last week so AF should be coming in 10 days or so. Anxious to get the day 3 bloodwork shipped out and find out the results. I am so curious to talk with Dr Sch about all of my results and the plan/protocol for us. I am nervous to hear that he will put me on the same protocol as my last long lupron. I've always responded well with the long lupron but my last long lupron cycle 17 eggs were retrieved (very happy with) but only 12 were mature!! and normally 12 would be ok but we had bad fertilization that time and only had 5 fertilize!! Ughh! I hope something like that doesn't happen at CCRM. I don't think Dr Sch will put me on the MDL since he thought it was too aggressive for me (we got 27 eggs on MDL). It's true, we are looking for quality not quantity...I just rather not be walking on egg shells with just barely enough eggs/embryos...it's just soo nerve racking! We've had as bad as 30% fertilization rates and as good as 60% so we need every egg we can get. But maybe our fertilization will be better at CCRM with the IMSI procedure, lab and embryologists.. I hope so!!
I think I detected my surge last week so AF should be coming in 10 days or so. Anxious to get the day 3 bloodwork shipped out and find out the results. I am so curious to talk with Dr Sch about all of my results and the plan/protocol for us. I am nervous to hear that he will put me on the same protocol as my last long lupron. I've always responded well with the long lupron but my last long lupron cycle 17 eggs were retrieved (very happy with) but only 12 were mature!! and normally 12 would be ok but we had bad fertilization that time and only had 5 fertilize!! Ughh! I hope something like that doesn't happen at CCRM. I don't think Dr Sch will put me on the MDL since he thought it was too aggressive for me (we got 27 eggs on MDL). It's true, we are looking for quality not quantity...I just rather not be walking on egg shells with just barely enough eggs/embryos...it's just soo nerve racking! We've had as bad as 30% fertilization rates and as good as 60% so we need every egg we can get. But maybe our fertilization will be better at CCRM with the IMSI procedure, lab and embryologists.. I hope so!!
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