Happy Birthday!!

It's my Birthday today!! Today I was remembering my Birthday two years ago.... the day I received our CCS results!! What a special Birthday gift it was to find out we had 3/5 normal embryos. Two of those embryos are in their cribs napping right now!! Today I am thankful for these gifts.... the best Birthday gifts I could ask for. Gosh it's been forever since I've updated. The babies are now 14.5 months old! Their first Birthday party was so much fun... we had lots friends and family over to celebrate :) Layla has been walking since just after her first birthday. Alec is still not walking independently!! He has taken a few steps but still is not walking on his own completely. He uses the walker to get around. Here's a cute story...Layla steals the walker away from him (poor Alec!)... he'll cry since she took it and she'll see he's crying and pat him on the back to console him. He gets up and starts to use the walker again and she steals it away again. He cries again and then she stops to console him again. The cycle repeats itself. It's too funny! The twins are a lot of work. After having a singleton and now twins... I'd definitely say twins are more work and more exhaustion. But life is good. We really want to use all of our embryos so I guess it's better we got two out of the way at once anyway!! I noticed the blogger has new features and it looks like people actually do read or check my blog. Usually from ccrm journey or ivf flygirl's blog. I hope my blog is helpful to others and gives other's hope. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you ever have any questions about my cycle at CCRM or any IVF questions! It gives purpose to our IF struggle. Lately...I've had quite a few friends of friends contacting me for IF advice. IF is and will always be a part of me and I am more than happy to help anyone out.

Nine months!!

Today, our babies turned nine months. It's been way too long since I've updated!!!! Life is good, but super busy!! The twins are finally both sleeping thru the night in their own room....finally! They are also napping much better and more on a schedule now. I completely stopped nursing last month.. it's been a gradual weaning over the last 2 months or so. They aren't crawling yet... but I see it getting close! Gotta start baby proofing the house soon!! It will be interesting to see how life changes when they become mobile!!! I'm afraid I won't be getting out of the house as much with two mobile babies either... so I"m going to have to adjust my routines!! Probably lots more online grocery shopping and other shopping! Thank goodness for the internet, huh!?? Overall, life is good...busy and overwhelming at times, but soo good! And I'll add some pictures later. Or maybe start a new baby blog as a separate continuation of this blog. But maybe still blog here for topics like embryo donation below. I'd hate to upset anyone coming to my blog seeing pics of the babies. I hope my blog can give some help and inspiration to others if they come across it. I always found it helpful to find blogs with similar situations to mine and would read back from the start. Many of these blogs helped me decide to go to CCRM. I"m so thankful for that.

My friend, FLYGIRL, has a blog which I'm sure most of you know. She's donating her frosties to a wonderful family. What an amazing gift...... and I agree, can't think of a better gift you can give someone!! My husband and I are in a dilemma about what to do with our lone frostie left. If we had more than one... then we'd probably donate because we don't think we can manage 5+ kids. And I know many of you have TONS of frosties which would be impossible to use them all!! We can't handle twins again either! Since it is only one left we feel like we "could" handle one more kid! (it's crazy to even be in this dilemma after years of infertility!!). But when I look at our precious twins (2 of our 3 CCS normals) I think of our one left. We could donate him/her... but since she/he has no potential sibling... I feel bad just leaving him/her out....like he/she belongs with us. I often wonder if it is a boy or a girl. But knowing (if CCRM would tell us) would make it even harder to let he/she go. My husband keeps reminding me this embryo in the freezer is just 2 weeks away from a heartbeat. My heart aches to not give it life either by donation or to us. (not sure if we'd be able to donate just one CCS normal... I know CCRM has more strict criteria). We haven't decided what to do. And we could attempt an FET and it could not work.... but it's a high quality 5 day old CCS normal embryo... and I'm sure it has a VERY good chance. Thankfully, we don't have to decide just now. We have some time.

4 months

The twins are now about 4 months old! Time is flying by!! We've been busy... been on a few little trips. In late September we went on a houseboat trip with my husband's family for 4 days. I would have never decided to take 3 month old twins houseboating, but my brother in law won this trip. I was a little apprehensive about going. But it ended up being really relaxing and fun. We had lots of extra hands too so that gave me a break!!



We went to Southern CA to visit my sister and family last weekend for about 4 days. We braved the airplane with our three kids!! It went ok! The babies were good. Other passengers were frequently commenting on how we have our hands full but many of them also offering to help :) We went to Disneyland one day while my parents stayed home with the twins, it was a fun day! Disneyland has a nice and comfortable baby center where I could pump :)

The babies had their 4 month appointment yesterday. The pedi was very pleased. Alec weighs 12lbs 8oz and Layla is 11lbs 13oz....both are about 24 inches. She said once they hit about 12lbs they should sleep most if the night (if you dream feed around 10pm-which we do). Alec is often sleeping thru the night from his 10pm dream feed until 8am! Layla wakes up around 5am on average. Napping is going ok... some days they nap really well. They really like to nap on their tummies. My pedi says this is ok since they hold their heads up so well and I'm right there for the nap. But at night we put them on their backs to sleep. They really love sleeping on their tummies :) but sometimes I worry since they are supposed to be on their backs. The pedi also says we can start solids when they are about 5 months old. She said to start putting them in their high chairs so they get used to sitting in there and watching us eat at meal times. When starting solids they should start to sleep deeper longer naps and can be more on a schedule during the day... they should sleep longer at night too :) Looking forward to that!!!


I went back to work last week. It's weird being back to work after 6 months off. I thought I would forget everything, but so far remembering it pretty easily like riding a bike! It's kind of nice to get away and get back to work... I work 24hr/weekly... so it's not too bad. I can often get more days off if we're not busy...so right now we're going to take advantage of that. My hubby is learning to care for them all on his own... this weekend will be his longest stretch with them since it's my first weekend back to work. Should be interesting!! ha ha!

Lots of coos and smiles these days.... it just melts my heart. Such a joy! The babies do notice each other sometimes and "talk" to one another. TOO CUTE! Alec is rolling over from back to tummy and tummy to back. But not very often yet. Layla hasn't rolled much... just tummy to back a couple times.



A year ago I was planning my FET of these little ones! So crazy all that has happened this last year. Such a joy and relief that our family is complete (at least we think? we still haven't decided about our one last CCS normal in the freezer- but I'll save that for another post!)

More pics :)

Thanks to my IVFC friends I finally got my camera out and have been taking pictures of my cuties!! We were supposed to have a photo shoot today (a free follow-up pic from our hospital package) but the lady cancelled. I had them all dressed up in these cute outfits my mom got them.... oh well, did my own little shoot instead :)

A few pics!

I need to be better about taking pictures!!! I don't have that many good ones! I have some on my phone, but I need to try to take pics more often with my normal camera. Took some tonight since it was big brother's fourth birthday!

2 month appt!

Our babies had their 2 month appointment this past Thursday Aug 18th at 9 1/2 wks old. Alec weighed in at 10lbs 4oz and Layla is 9lbs 15oz. Alec is also longer and his head is bigger than Layla. Their pediatrician thought they look very healthy and is very pleased :) We're very thankful too.

Today I was looking back on this blog to where I was at about a year ago today.... a year ago on Aug 13 we had our egg retrieval, and about this time last year we had just received our day 6 blast report and I was obsessing over the grades of our embryos and awaiting the CCS report. What a stressful time it was.... such uncertainty, some dissapointment over the grades of our embryos and the number of blasts we had after 19 fertilized (only 5 blasts!). And look where we are today... two beautiful babies... from grades 5BA and 4BB embryos. I was so jealous of those perfect 5AAs and felt like there was something wrong with our embryos.... but who cares now what the grades were. All that matters is that we have our beautiful healthy babies :)

I promise... pics to come in the next few days!!

Been busy....exhausted!

It's been busy here! I finally have a moment to write while both babies are asleep, big brother is asleep too! It's been especially busy since our oldest, Garrett, is out of school for two weeks since summer school ended and preschool hasn't started up again yet. Also our babysitter is out on vacation! So I am all on my own with three kids all day long! On top of that, I think the lack of sleep is really catching up to me... and I'm exhausted.

I am finding out that getting out of the house makes my day a little easier since the babies fall asleep in the car and usually stay asleep for a few hours in their infant carseats. Garrett also does well if we get out and do something. He goes crazy being home all day long. We get out to the park, the mall, the jumpy place, or maybe one easy errand. Getting out of the house keeps me sane too!!

Tomorrow is the babies 2 month appt (a week late). I'm curious to find out how much they weigh in at! They are definitely getting bigger... our little boy, Alec, seems to eat ALOT!! Nursing more often...and I think he feels heavier. When we give him a bottle at night he'll usually take 4 oz and sometimes wants more. Our little girl, Layla, takes about 3 oz... not usually 4. Alec is so grunty and gassy!! He farts ALOT! and stinky ones! I'm going to ask about this tomorrow! It seems like he's constantly farting! Such a boy!! ha ha!

I'm recovering pretty well. Seeing progress with my weight loss and staring to feel more like my normal self. Still have about 10lbs to lose. Trying to be careful not to go too fast with the weight loss since I am concerned it could affect my milk supply. Fitting into more of my normal clothes now. I know it takes time.... trying to be patient!! I'm still bleeding lightly on and off bright red. My OB says she'll do an ultrasound to check for any tissue or a clot. I was supposed to call last week if I was still bleeding.... I just keep ignoring it... hoping it will go away. Maybe I'll call tomorrow. Ughh. There's a possibility I would need a d&c..... if they see something in there. What a pain that would be! And the memories it would bring back since I've had two miscarriages with d&c. Ughh.

I'll update again in the next few days since we have their 2 month appt tomorrow... and I will add some pics since my IVFC buddies have been asking :)