Ultrasound #2 (8wks 3days)

My ultrasound was perfect! Both babies were measuring right on track at 8wks3days and their hearts were beating strong! What a relief! My OB said I could come in for another ultrasound in 2wks or wait 3-4 weeks for the 11-12wk nuchal scan. I choose to wait... am I crazy? Maybe I'll change my mind in a few days once the excitement of today wears off and the nerves return!!!

A weeks update....

It's been one week since my first u/s. This past week I've felt pretty crappy. Tired, nagging nausea all the time. Don't know what to eat, nothing sounds good. Sometimes feel worse after eating. No throwing up, thankfully. It could be worse. I did start the vit B6 regimen that CCRM recommends for nausea. It must be helping cause I feel tons better today. But then I start to worry, cause I admit the nausea was reassuring. It's been pretty calm, no spotting at all. Today I was crampy though. I googled "crampy at 8 weeks pregnant" and found it is pretty normal. Hopefully, it's just a sign my uterus is stretching out.

I haven't heard much from CCRM. It's been a little frustrating. My e2 check at the beginning of last week was slightly low at 275, so they started me on more estrace and had me re-check it last Thursday. I never heard back. I emailed on Monday and finally got the word that it went up to 800 something. They still haven't said anything at all regarding my first u/s. I thought they'd be asking for the results if they had not received it or if they had received it a nice congrats or something would be nice?
They told me last Monday when I emailed searching for my e2 levels that they never received my u/s results. I had my OB re-fax it early this week. Still haven't heard anything! Also had my e2 and p4 checked yesterday and haven't heard anything! Hello??!! I guess they put you on the back burner when you are pregnant!

My next ultrasound is on Tuesday Nov 23. CCRM did not order this, my OB did. Again, I haven't heard anything regarding u/s from CCRM! I am a little nervous, but not nearly as nervous as the first u/s. My last miscarriage is still on my mind.... we had seen a strong heartbeat and then it was gone 2 weeks later. It was devastating. My heart has never ached so badly. It was soo painful, it is so hard to forget. I know my embies are most likely chromosomally normal so things should be ok. Another thing that's on my mind is that the babies measured 3 days behind. I know there's a margin of error, but that's in the back of my mind too. And I never found out what the actual heart rates were. My OB just said it's well over 100.

I have to admit that stupid Beer Clinic and the immunology is still on my mind. I haven't talked to them in about 2 wks. They had been monitoring my hcg levels, p4 levels, they were going to re-check my NK levels. I just disappeared one day and they haven't even called to check in on me. I'm glad they haven't called though, although a little annoyed that they haven't even checked in on me to see what's going on. I've been wanting to call them to tell them I am not doing their tests/treatments anymore...but it's just too stressful to hear them say I've put my pregnancy at risk, I just don't want to hear it. I am much more relaxed without them!!

Ultrasound results....

I was soooo soooooooo nervous for the ultrasound today. Thankfully, it was good news!!!
Double good news.....we're having twins! Two strong heartbeats!! A little overwhelmed, it will take some time to sink in. My DH was so cute- all teary eyed at the ultrasound and in the parking lot after. I'm glad he's happy about it and not totally stressed out. I am still in shock and don't feel much yet...just feel relief. So thankful we did CCS, just gives me so much comfort that things will be ok.



My next ultrasound is Tuesday Nov 23... look forward to celebrating Thanksgiving this year. We have a lot to be Thankful for. Thanksgiving also falls on our tenth anniversary this year- so it will be a very special day!

Nervous

My ultrasound is tomorrow and I am very nervous. I have no idea what we will find in there!!!???? Will it be one, two or none? Sometimes I am rooting for both of those embies to have implanted, it would be wonderful to bring two more little ones into our family. I'd love to have three kids....I think? (gulp!) I admit that I might be a little sad if only one took. I know my betas aren't super high like many of you but it's double what I had with my son- so it's a possibility. At the same time, don't want to be disappointed if there's one- because one beautiful heartbeat would be truly amazing!!

I am also scared of seeing two heartbeats...and being totally overwhelmed and scared!! Twins does scare me in many ways! I've seen devastating results than can happen due to premature birth and other birth complications since I am a pediatric nurse- I am very well aware of the risks. The pregnancy would be more worrisome, taking care of two newborns probably born early just sounds exhausting (along with my son to add!). Life as we know it would change much more drastically than if we have one more child- I'd probably have to quit my part-time job of which I love and have worked hard for.

I go back and forth of what I hope to see in there tomorrow. And the most scary thought of all is that there is no viable life in there at all...as I've said before those miscarriage scars are deep. I do keep reminding myself that with CCS (those with a doubling beta) I've read that the miscarriage rate is just 4%. That gives me a lot of hope. And when I look at the CCS chart those statistics hold true.

I just pray tomorrow that we see at least one healthy growing bean in there... and I will be so relieved!

6wks2days- waiting

Waiting for u/s which is on Friday. What scares me the most is our first miscarriage last summer where we lost a 46XY embryo. The first beta was just 41 at 14dpo... but it doubled great and was checked weekly. My local clinic at the time was not concerned about the low initial numbers since it was doubling great- normal doubling times. But at our first u/s there was no heartbeat seen. D&C showed it was 46XY... so it would have passed the CCS testing. Dr Schoolcraft thinks it was because it was slow frozen...there's a higher miscarriage rate with slow frozen embryos according to Dr Sch. The embryo was frozen on day 3 and when thawed it did have tons of dead cells. It looked dark and ugly. But why did it grow as far as it did if it was soo damaged? I'm scared that this will happen again this time. The scars are deep.

I haven't spoken to the Beer clinic since last week. I am supposed to get my hcg levels checked every three days.. I had two levels checked with them after my initial two betas at CCRM, it was reassuring. The numbers look great... but it was getting to be too nerve racking to get it checked every 3 days. What the heck would they do about it anyway? The doubling times slow down and I was obsessing to much about the numbers. They haven't called me to see why I decided not to go ahead with the IVIG and haven't called asking for my hcg levels, etc. I am trying to avoid talking to them- it was just too upsetting to hear them say I was putting my pregnancy at risk by not doing all of their treatment. Maybe I'll call them after my u/s to let them know I will not be coming back! Unfortunately, the Beer Clinic is still in the back of my mind. I have let it go for the most part and I feel at peace with my decision. But the awful things that they have said still haunt me.

I burst out into tears as I was driving this morning- mostly tears of happiness for so many of my blogging friends and ladies on the threads. Each has been thru difficult times to get where they are today- I am just so happy for all of the success that's been happening lately. It just brings so much joy to my heart. My heart does ache for those that are still struggling. It was a mixture of feelings this morning that brought on the tears.... my thoughts and prayers are with all of you thru the good times and bad.

Update

So I had the T-reg levels re-checked and got the results back today. Of course the levels are now lower at 0.4 from o.5 (they want 0.7) So now they really want me to treat it!

I've been searching and reading and trying to decide what to do. My decision is NOT to treat this. The nurse said the IVIG might not even bring up the levels (but it would still help?). There's an immunology support forum for this clinic on yahoo and from searching around, it looks like the IVIG does not help bring up the levels for most. So then they'd be recommending another infusion in a few weeks! There's just no way I am spending $5000 on two infusions. The nurse I talked to the other day said that the t-reg levels CAN be higher in the uterus than the blood... so it can be ok but they like to treat it anyway if it's low in the blood.

I've asked some of the other Dr's on SIRM's discussion board and it seems the consensus is that immune treatments are questionable....especially this one. And I am wondering why the Beer clinic didn't test this level BEFORE my transfer if it's such a concern for them. Low levels are supposed to interfere with implantation. My levels were probably low at time of implantation and it didn't interefere!

Dr Schoolcraft told me not to do any immune testing/treatment, he told me to ignore it..I keep reminding myself of that. And look at the success rates with CCS normals!!
I think everything will be ok. I hope!

Immunology Update #2

So I thought it over this weekend about whether to treat these "T-Regulatory" cells or not. I asked Dr Sher on the SIRM discussion board and he does not think I need to worry. He said that even though he strongly believes in immune issues, he would not treat this. That makes me feel better.

On Monday the AEB Clinic (Alan E Beer) asks me what my decision is and I tell them that I probably will not treat it, they tell me my pregnancy is at risk. Which is a very scary thing to hear! I am in tears hearing someone say this I asked to speak with the Dr... but that's another $300, so I decided not to. I spoke with a different nurse instead who thought it was reasonable for me to get it re-tested since my levels are borderline. So I went to the clinic yesterday and ended up again in tears as the nurse seems to think I am putting my pregnancy at risk. I told her that these tests are very controversial, especially this new "t-reg" test. I probably went a little too far and said that Schoolcraft doesn't believe in any of your tests and treatments. Another nurse heard me and said she's never seen a successful pregnancy with a progesterone level under 8. Mine was 6 the other day. The nurse called me with this doomed sound in her voice because of my "dangerously low" progesterone level. I explained and explained that the suppositories don't show the levels in the blood. But they just disagree. I trust CCRM on this, I've seen plenty of ladies just on suppositories with lower levels. As long as it's >5, it's ok. I started PIO anyway for other reasons and my progesterone level was 49.0 on Friday.

I think these AEB clinic nurses are quite annoyed with me and think I am crazy for putting my pregnancy at risk. They keep reminding me that they are experts in this field- they are "reproductive immunologists" where Dr's like Schoolcraft are just IVF Drs. I just think they are so extreme with some of their tests and treatments and refuse to waste $2500 for one infusion that I probably do not need. But their comments to scare me- what if they are right? I would do anything not to lose this pregnancy. We've worked so hard to get where we are. I really hope the levels come back normal and I won't have to worry about it anymore.