Belly Bump

Here's a pic of my 16wk belly bump!



I really feel like the bump has grown a lot this past week. Still wearing my normal jeans with a bella band. Have purchased a few maternity tops and can still wear many of my normal tops if they are longer styles. And I do have a stash of maternity clothes in the basement from my previous pregnancy. It's always fun to buy new stuff though :) Getting lots of comments at work from parents of my pediatric patients.... even under my scrub top :) The salesman at the car dealership yesterday thought I was 7 months pregnant! I hope I don't look that big already!!

16 wks today!

It's just past midnight (just got home from work)....but it's a new day- I am 16wks today!! I am definitely showing now, it's obvious I am pregnant. I love my cute belly bump :) Maybe I'll post a pic since I finally took one of the belly yesterday. I hope to take a pic every 2 weeks or so. I know I will regret it if I don't. I took lots with my son, and I am so thankful for that.

It's been 4 weeks since my last u/s!! Way too long..I really need some reassurance!!! Are they ok in there? I ordered a doppler which should arrive Monday. Can't wait to hear my babies heartbeats! Although, I really don't think I will be able to differentiate between the two.... but still think hearing a heartbeat will be reassuring. I just loved the doppler with my son's pregnancy.

My next u/s is Friday Jan 21st! Just about a week away.... it's a gender scan at my OB office. I can't wait to find out the sexes, but have to admit I am nervous. I will be disappointed if it's two boys. I have always dreamed of having a girl, so I know I will be bummed out if it's two boys and I don't want to feel that way. I know what's most important is two healthy babies. My son will have siblings and our family will be complete.....that's all I could ask for.

This weekend we're going to look at cars. My current car only has one row of seats in the back. It's a small SUV like car. I love the car.... but it's just not going to be big enough for 3 carseats. Never really wanted a mini-van but we may have to get one.
They are convenient with the sliding doors on each side and more space and seats. Convenience will be a priority with a 4yr old and twins!! Anything to make life easier!

Well, it's almost 1am. Time to get some sleep :) Goodnight!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! On New Year's Day I turned 14wks! I can't believe I'm officially in the second trimester now, it is a relief but I still wonder if everything is ok in there??
I've been meaning to get a doppler since I used one for my son and loved it. It was very reassuring. Still haven't ordered one yet, not sure if I will be able to differentiate between the two heartbeats. I guess it would be reassuring to hear at least one heartbeat though... figuring if one is ok, probably both are?

I've been off the meds for over two weeks now... my last hormone check was great and I am just a normal pregnant woman now, I guess? My next u/s is at 20wks, Valentines Day. I was hoping it would be sooner to find out the genders. I may try to find out a way to get one sooner. We'll see. I did email the nurses at CCRM asking them if they'll reveal the genders of our two CCS normals transferred. The answer was "no". I understand not telling before the transfer and not letting you choose if they don't want to get involved in the ethics of gender selection. But why can't they tell us now?

I'm excited about starting a fresh new year and hope it's just filled with joy and happiness in 2011. 2010 was a difficult year.... I had a d&c on New years eve 2009 (after not seeing the heartbeat again at 8wk u/s on Dec 30th). It was one of the most difficult things I have ever endured. I have never felt such loss before, so very painful.
It was nice to start 2010 fresh, and I was hoping that 2010 would be filled with great news, unfortunately it did not. We did another fresh cycle locally in Feb/March and it was a BFN!!! It was devastating. My husband said "no more IVFs" at that point and I was very depressed. I stopped going to social events and was just so sad avoiding anyone who was pregnant or had a newborn. One of my best friends was pregnant with boy/girl twins and it was so hard to be happy for her as we were due just about the same day and supposed to be happily pregnant together. I was able to convince my husband to travel to CCRM for one last try. We went to the ODWU in May and our fresh cycle was in August. Waiting for this cycle was so difficult. It seemed as though lots of my friends were having babies and I was isolating myself even more. Lots of heartache. Lots of pressure as we prepared to go to CCRM for our last shot at this. This was it...we were either going to have another child or not. We couldn't keep paying thousands of dollars and the emotional heartache was too much. We had to move on after this whether it worked out or not. But at least we gave it our last try at the "best" clinic in the US.
Our two week stay in Colorado was fun and the fresh cycle went great. I was a little bummed and worried when we only ended up with 5 blasts for CCS testing (and good but not perfect blasts) of our 19 fertilized. But realizing now, that really all you need is one good CCS normal for this to work!! Waiting for the CCS results was agonizing, but I was very hopeful we'd have at least one or two normals. We had three!
We transferred two of our normals on October 14th and found out in November that both took! The end of 2010 was filled with lots of happiness, but hesitance. Nervous for each ultrasound- reminders of our two miscarriages, the scars were deep.
Going into 2011- new years day being the first day into my second trimester is a great feeling. Hoping for a healthy pregnancy (which I am nervous about with twins) and hope we never have to endure anymore IF/pregnancy related heartache.... excited about what's to come this new year!!

12 wks today!

I had an ultrasound yesterday at 11wks 6days for the nuchal scan. Our little ones both passed the screening test for the neck fold measurement, so that was a relief :)

Both babies looked great-hearts beating strong, one measured exactly at 11wks6days and one a couple days ahead at 12wks2days. One was doing lots of gymnastics, so cute. The other looked as though it was sucking it's thumb. I think I've been feeling some movement in there the last week or two....little tickles or flutters. Definitely recognize it from my son's pregnancy. I don't feel it everyday though.... look forward to the regular movement in a couple months. Now that I'm 12 weeks and everything is looking so good, it's really time to take a huge sigh of relief and enjoy :)

Happy Holidays everyone!!

Baby A on left, baby B on right

Ultrasound 10wks 3days

The bleeding stopped completely today, it was brown spotting over the weekend. I called my OB on Monday and informed them about the bleed and got an ultrasound set up for today.The babies both looked great! Both measuring at 10wks6days :) It was a relief to see they were both doing well. My OB did spot a tear which she thought caused the bleed. She didn't think my exercising caused it, but to take it a little easier. She thought that the tear should resolve in the next few weeks and usually at that point tears are less likely to occur since the connection is stronger at that point. She said these tears are fairly common and didn't seem too worried about it. If I have bright red gushes again, they'll do an ultrasound to check on things... otherwise next ultrasound is the nuchal scan at 11wk6days, next Friday December 17th.


Here's two pics of my babies :)

Pregnancy Worries and Woes

I was at the mall today and felt a gush of something. It was bright red bleeding!! ughh! No cramping or pain though. It soaked my pants and I had to rush home...luckily I had dark jeans on so no one could notice the bleeding as I rushed out of the mall. Called CCRM and heard back fairly quickly. The nurse told me to rest for the weekend. It may be a tear which needs to heal. She told me to drink lots of water too. She didn't sound worried since my hormone levels even went up with the decrease of meds. P4 was 47 and E2 was about 1300. I feel sort of guilty since I started exercising this week at the gym. I've been go, go go lately too. Probably doing too much. We also DTD for the first time in a while (TMI!!) maybe my cervix got irritated from that which I was fearing. A tear scares me, so I hope it's not a tear. The bleeding eased up quickly, there's been some red spotting but no more gushes so far. Depending on how I'm feeling I may call my OB on Monday for an ultrasound next week for some reassurance and would like to see if we can locate the cause of the bleed. I had similar red bleeding with my son, so that gives me comfort that things will be ok.

In other pregnancy worries and woes. This morning I had to pee really bad, but nothing would come out! It was sort of scary at first. But I figured it was some pregnancy related thing and googled it. Turns out that in the first trimester it can be common for the uterus to compress the urethra as the uterus enlarges... especially if the uterus is retroverted (which mine is). Beyond the first trimester the uterus becomes more supported on the pelvis so this often resolves. I have noticed for the last couple weeks my pee just trickles out sometimes, it is so annoying! Oh.... the pregancy woes!

Thankful

Today my DH and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary! Time sure does fly fast... can't believe we've been married ten years!! We've been thru a lot of ups and downs thru the years. The infertility has been our most difficult struggle and I am so proud of us for getting thru it together. We're more in love and have a deeper connection than we've had before. Hoping we have a lifetime of years together and we know we can make it thru the tough times, we will be okay!

So thankful today, on Thanksgiving day... thankful for our health, our supportive family and friends. Thankful for our home and our jobs. Thankful for the technology today that helped us conceive our son and our two little ones to come. Without the inventions of IVF and ICSI we would not be parents to our own biological children. We are thankful for our second RE- Dr Zouves who helped us find hope with our first successful cycle in Dec 2006 after two miserably failed cycles at a different clinic. So thankful for CCRM and Dr Schoolcraft who's helped us find success once again after 2 miscarriages and a BFN. We are so very thankful for the lab at CCRM that made all the difference for us. So thankful for opportunity to take advantage of the new CCS technology that gave us the best chance for success. I am sooo thankful we know that our little ones growing inside me are most likely chromosomally normal... gives me so much comfort that all will be ok. Very very thankful for that.

I'm thankful for my blogging friends whom I have never met IRL (well I have met a couple of you!). So thankful for your support and it's so great to talk with those who truly understand all this IF crap that we all have unfortunately endured. So thankful for the many successes that so many of you guys have had recently!! So happy for all of you! My heart aches so much for those still in that dark place of uncertainty. I am keeping those who are still struggling in my daily thoughts and prayers.... I pray that each of you find success very soon. I pray for strength for you during these difficult times. I hope everyone of us has a nice thanksgiving today no matter where they are at... I know all of us have a lot to be thankful for.