Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! On New Year's Day I turned 14wks! I can't believe I'm officially in the second trimester now, it is a relief but I still wonder if everything is ok in there??
I've been meaning to get a doppler since I used one for my son and loved it. It was very reassuring. Still haven't ordered one yet, not sure if I will be able to differentiate between the two heartbeats. I guess it would be reassuring to hear at least one heartbeat though... figuring if one is ok, probably both are?

I've been off the meds for over two weeks now... my last hormone check was great and I am just a normal pregnant woman now, I guess? My next u/s is at 20wks, Valentines Day. I was hoping it would be sooner to find out the genders. I may try to find out a way to get one sooner. We'll see. I did email the nurses at CCRM asking them if they'll reveal the genders of our two CCS normals transferred. The answer was "no". I understand not telling before the transfer and not letting you choose if they don't want to get involved in the ethics of gender selection. But why can't they tell us now?

I'm excited about starting a fresh new year and hope it's just filled with joy and happiness in 2011. 2010 was a difficult year.... I had a d&c on New years eve 2009 (after not seeing the heartbeat again at 8wk u/s on Dec 30th). It was one of the most difficult things I have ever endured. I have never felt such loss before, so very painful.
It was nice to start 2010 fresh, and I was hoping that 2010 would be filled with great news, unfortunately it did not. We did another fresh cycle locally in Feb/March and it was a BFN!!! It was devastating. My husband said "no more IVFs" at that point and I was very depressed. I stopped going to social events and was just so sad avoiding anyone who was pregnant or had a newborn. One of my best friends was pregnant with boy/girl twins and it was so hard to be happy for her as we were due just about the same day and supposed to be happily pregnant together. I was able to convince my husband to travel to CCRM for one last try. We went to the ODWU in May and our fresh cycle was in August. Waiting for this cycle was so difficult. It seemed as though lots of my friends were having babies and I was isolating myself even more. Lots of heartache. Lots of pressure as we prepared to go to CCRM for our last shot at this. This was it...we were either going to have another child or not. We couldn't keep paying thousands of dollars and the emotional heartache was too much. We had to move on after this whether it worked out or not. But at least we gave it our last try at the "best" clinic in the US.
Our two week stay in Colorado was fun and the fresh cycle went great. I was a little bummed and worried when we only ended up with 5 blasts for CCS testing (and good but not perfect blasts) of our 19 fertilized. But realizing now, that really all you need is one good CCS normal for this to work!! Waiting for the CCS results was agonizing, but I was very hopeful we'd have at least one or two normals. We had three!
We transferred two of our normals on October 14th and found out in November that both took! The end of 2010 was filled with lots of happiness, but hesitance. Nervous for each ultrasound- reminders of our two miscarriages, the scars were deep.
Going into 2011- new years day being the first day into my second trimester is a great feeling. Hoping for a healthy pregnancy (which I am nervous about with twins) and hope we never have to endure anymore IF/pregnancy related heartache.... excited about what's to come this new year!!