I am starting this blog to share with others who are going thru or have been thru the IVF process. I have another blog in which my husband and I update about us and our son and post lots of pictures, and we even share about our IVF cycles...it's mainly a place for friends and family to go to get update on what's going on in our life. But I really need a place to vent and share with other's that understand. I don't share my deepest feelings on our other blog and I'd like to keep the other blog filled with stories about our son and keep it more "happy" although we do share our ups and downs with the IVF stuff there too. It will be nice to have a place to let out my anger and frustrations about IF and not have to worry about offending friends or family...
For example, I have a baby shower to throw next month. This is a very good friend of mine, but I wish I was more excited about it. We actually got pregnant together this past November. She did IVF too (her first IVF failed). We had our first u/s on the same day which was soo fun. I had one strong heartbeat and she ended up having 2 strong heartbeats. We were due just days apart and it was going to be so much fun to be pregnant together. I admit, I was slightly jealous she had 2 and I only had one.... but I was still very happy to have 1 baby in there and was soo looking forward to sharing our pregnancies together. I lost the baby at 8 wks and it was devastating. Everything's been perfect with her pregnancy and we have been talking less. I thought for sure I'd be pregnant again by the time her baby shower comes around. Unfortunately, we did another IVF cycle and it failed. Ughh. I am happy for her- but it's still hard. I already committed to helping throw the shower and she is a very good friend...so of course I will be there. But it's just sad...I was supposed to be pregnant too. I will leave that night after her shower for Colorado for the ODWU (if all works out with my AF!). I think it will be good to go to Colorado that day, at least I will be on my way to having a baby soon (I hope!).
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I am glad that you started this blog and hope it will serve as an outlet for you, just as mine has for me. After our failed IVF cycle last year, I really clammed up about discussing it with friends/family. It was great to talk about with them until it failed. This time, we are not telling anyone IRL about our cycle. No one IRL knows we traveled for our ODWU, and we also won't tell them when we cycle. It just made us feel added pressure.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin had an "oops" pregnancy a month before her wedding this past January, and her shower is coming up in June. Fortunately, her stepmom/sister are hosting it, but I am still dreading having to attend. I was the first person she told in our family and I felt like my world stopped for a couple of seconds. I can only imagine how painful it must be to deal with planning this shower with the significance her pregnancy carries for you.
I really hope CCRM will be your answer for #2. I'm rooting for you! :)